Hollis's Premature Birth Story

I woke up on November 25, 2015 twenty eight weeks along, 6 months pregnant. That morning I had passed a couple weird gray colored clots, and really didn't think anything about it. I made a mental note to call the doctor as I was getting the older two kids out the door and to the bus stop. Just before my husband left for work I called my doctor and they thought it would be a good idea to come into the hospital for a quick check up for me and the baby. I desperately didn't want to go alone so I asked my husband to skip work and come along with me to keep me company. (So glad I did!) We rode to the hospital laughing and drinking coffee. I had zero worries at all, didn't even pack an overnight bag. I felt great and knew this was more of a precaution due to my history.

My history....

9 years earlier I had given birth at 28 weeks to our daughter Elle. I was told I would be at a higher risk for another premature delivery and that was one of the main reasons we never tried again for a third baby. It was never fully determined why I delivered Elle early, so this time around my doctors wanted to be 100% sure what was going on at all times. When I was 18 weeks along with Hollis I began having weekly progesterone injections to help maintain a healthy pregnancy. I was also getting ultrasounds every 2 weeks to make sure my cervix was nice and tight. Every precaution possible was taken to help me maintain a healthy pregnancy and be able to deliver full term.

Once we got to the hospital I was hooked up to the monitors, they did a quick check of my cervix, sent me down for an ultrasound, and took some labs. Within a couple of hours they were able to tell me everything looked fantastic with Hollis and I..... the only thing they could see was small contractions happening every 10 minutes. I couldn't even feel them, but I could see those little tiny mounds reoccurring like clockwork. They pumped me full of fluids and I drank water like a fish just knowing it was all related to dehydration and mentally prepared for my big exit out of the hospital. We all expected to see the contractions slowly diminish, but the didn't happened. The contractions sustained. My doctor came in around noon to tell me he wanted to admit me for further testing and monitoring.

At this point I was still cool and calm. Hollis was appearing wonderful on the monitors and I felt pretty good and I wasn't bleeding. Bleeding is a big no-no when it comes to early labor, so I just figured I had maybe a yeast infection that was causing some irritation to my uterus. I was more annoyed that I couldn't eat anything!

We settled in our room and another round of testing started all the while the contractions slowly started to pick up speed and I was beginning to feel them. Once again nothing was viewable on my the ultrasound except showing Hollis was a total champ! My labs and vitals however were starting to reveal a different story. I had an increased amount of fetal blood cells in my own blood and my heart rate and blood pressure were starting to decline. Overall I still felt okay. Looking back now I know I wasn't okay. I think I had just told myself that enough times to believe it.

Around 6:30pm I asked for medication to help with the pain of the contractions. I wasn't in severe pain, but I needed to relax and the contractions were strong enough at that point where I couldn't ignore them. I was given med and another round of labs were taken and my doctor came in to tell us to settle in for the night. My husband climbed into bed with me and we set up our computer to watch a movie. We got about thirty minutes into the movie when the doors of our room opened and in walked a flood of people. I knew immediately something was wrong.

My doctor stood front and center in what seemed like a sea of people. He made small talk at first as if to break the ice, but I could tell by his demeanor he had bad news. He said, "Miranda, I don't know what is going on, but I need you to trust me. While you and the baby are still stable we need to deliver." My most recent labs had showed the fetal blood cells had greatly increased and if we continued to just watch it both Hollis and I would be at great risk.

All I can remember is shaking my head, crying, and saying "Okay" over and over again. I felt my whole world collapsing. In my mind I kept saying there is no way this is happening again, but the room was buzzing around me with nurses, anesthesia, the NICU team, and the surgical team. There wasn't a ton of time to waste but I knew we needed to pray and so the room cleared for maybe 2 minutes while Nandor and I held hands and cried out to God for safety. Nandor then suited up and I was wheeled out.

At 28 weeks Hollis was still breech. That along with the fragile state of both of us, he was delivered by c-section.

I remember some aspects of the OR. Oddly enough I remember someone asking me if one of the life flight paramedics could sit in on the surgery. I have some memories of the delivery. I remember looking at Nandor saying "I think its a girl" and quickly thereafter hearing "We have a boy!" Other things though are there, but are really fuzzy.

Hollis was born at 8:10pm (the same time Elle was born, weird, I know). He did cry when he came out, but only for a little bit, before he had to be intubated. Nandor was able to be with him for a short time and before they put him in the incubator they brought him over to me to kiss on the cheek. After that I remember getting really sick and moaning a lot and then it goes black. Nandor said anethesesia decided to give

me an extra dose of medicine to knock me out for the final phase of the surgery. I'm glad they did cause it was a lot to handle emotionally, mentally, and physically.

The next thing I remember is being back in my room. It was quiet. My husband was with Hollis and I was alone. Once again these moments are fuzzy, but I can remember Nandor coming back in to update me on Hollis, I remember my mom being in the room, and I remember Facetiming our older kids to tell them Hollis was a boy.

At some point our doctor came in to give me an update on the surgery. He said "Thank you for trusting me" which at first I thought why would I have not trusted him, but I guess looking back I had every reason to question him. I'm glad I trusted him as well. My placenta had a high tear, torn about 40% of the way, which couldn't be seen on the ultrasound. My doctor simply went off my contractions and my labs to determine something had to be done. Hollis had been swimming in my blood for some time which was evident by the amount of blood in his lungs. I had lost a significant amount of blood and our doctor said had we waited even a couple hours more the outcome wouldn't have been good for either of us.

At 28 weeks, Hollis weighed 2lbs 11 oz and was 14 inches long. So incredibly tiny. His skin was very thin and almost translucent. Each moment of the first 24 hours was precious and priceless. We prayed for the best, but waited for the worst. Leaving him was the hardest as we just didn't know what the next minute would hold. As each hour took us into the next we felt a little more hopeful.

After three days, I left Hollis behind crying thick tears each step out of the hospital. I came home, took a shower, got in the bed, and felt empty. I should have still been pregnant. I should have still been providing a safe home for my tiny baby. Instead he was fighting without me. It was the most empty feeling to have given birth, have a living baby, and not have them there with you. These next days, weeks, and months were the darkest I ever endured.

I could spend hours writing about the next 10 weeks of his life spent in the NICU. The NICU road is filled with twists and turns and bumps in the road. It feels endless. Those weeks were filled with much pain and many tears. As a mother, even though you know its the best possible thing for your child, your heart still longs for the normalcy of what others receive. I don't look back on those days often, other than to thank God for giving us a good outcome.

Our story ends well. Hollis grew in the NICU and after 10 weeks came home. His lungs were compromised from the ventilators and he has three spots on his right lung that we are constantly watching. His throat was underdeveloped which ultimately is what led to being continually fed through the feeding tube. Other than that you would never know he was born 12 week premature. We are so very grateful for his little life and what we have been able to share with him the past three years. He's pretty much our super hero.

#prematurity #preemies